The Set Up Movie: Was it worth the hype?

Hello lovelies,

If you an avid Nigerian twitter user, you most definitely would have come across one or two tweets about the movie "The Set Up" directed by Niyi Akinmolayan.

As an avid Film & TV viewer, I decided to watch this movie because I saw positive comments and hype from lots of tweeps. The movie boasted an enviable casts of actors and actresses like Adesua-Etomi Wellington ( our own Nollywood sweetheart synonymous to the likes of Reese Witherspoon), Dakore Egbuson-Akande and Joke Silva amongst others. So, i wasn't too surprised by the hype. However, I had to watch it for myself to make an informed decision as to whether its worth the hype or not. 

After watching it, here's what i think; I think its a nice movie to watch, but NO its not worth the hype. Sorry to burst your bubble, I just wont get on the hype-bandwagon.

Now lets get to the nitty-gritty of the story line which is where all my criticisms come from;

The movie follows the life of Chike, a girl born into a dysfunctional family of criminal parents who has a best friend, Grace, who is equally from a down-trodden family. Chike is portrayed as a protector of her rather timid friend Grace. Her love for her friend knows no bounds as she agreed to be a drug mule, just so she can get enough money to pay off Grace's father who wanted to sell her into Sex trafficking.

However as the story progresses, we see Chike and Grace have become criminals involved in the very lucrative, highly dangerous world of drug trafficking. Very early in the movie we are introduced to madam; a con artist and exclusive club owner. It is insinuated by Madam that Chike has successfully trafficked drugs to Malaysia, Hong Kong, Europe and across intercontinental lines, with over 10 to 15 successful trips to her name. Madam is introduced as a saviour for the girls. Madam wants the girls to work for her so she can fulfill her own personal vendetta against the Elesho family.

Here comes my first criticism:  Mafia /drug related movies are an absolute pastime of mine. I have watched movies like The Godfather, Scarface, American Gangster etc, and recently Netflix has flooded their streaming service with shows like Ozark, Narcos, Queen of the South, Breaking Bad etc. So I have a bit of knowledge of what it entails to be a drug trafficker. My knowledge comes from these movies in have watched over the years.

What I am trying to say is, for anyone to be a successful drug trafficker across intercontinental lines is a big deal. It involves a lot of money, connections and power. Successful drug mules make lots of money. Hence why some people opt to go into that world of crime. Now you say she has had 10 to 15 successful trips right? Then Chike should be in money, she should be very rich and powerful. She herself should have a successful drug empire with people working for her. She should not be portrayed as new comer drug mule who needs to run from NDLEA into the hands of a con artist / whorehouse mistress.

There are levels to this crime game. A drug trafficker is senior to a con artist. That's my opinion. 

Also, drug traffickers are hardend criminals. They don't just blurt out information about their operations at the sight of threat. Chike blurting out how she ran her operations to Madam at the first encounter is very out of character for seasoned experienced drug traffickers.

If Chike has made 10-15 successful trips she was not portrayed in that light, and that is a huge hole in the story. Asides being very rich, she will also be very powerful. Trafficking drugs is not only about money its about connections and links with other equally powerful people all around the world,  who, at the snap of their fingers can make things happen. That Madam (Tina Mba) is no match for Chike if indeed she has done 10-15 trips . Also where is all the money Chike made from her 10-15 trips? I didn't get any glimpse of power, wealth or opulence. Her portrayal did not do justice to the character of a drug trafficker. 

Also, i just could not understand how Madam could walk out of that building when it was swarmed with NDLEA without being stopped or questioned. Is she that powerful? 

Afterwards, we see Chike and Grace now working with Madam, even though i still find that incredulous, i'll just ignore it. We are shown a scene of a Chike snatching a laptop and running away like a common pick pocket. What a demotion! From a trafficker to a common street urchin. That's a big No! That is for small time criminals. I feel this story line of a drug trafficker was not well researched and developed. It wasn't authentic. It was bland!

Moving on, Chike is tasked with helping Edem get marry Motunrayo Elesho.At least that was what she thought she was doing, until she realised the truth. I think her acting in those scenes were not authentic enough. I guess i yearned for more. More action, more expression. Now lets talk about the charge against Bamidele Elesho. I think its just so watery. Its a claim without any strong evidence. The rich and powerful have lawyers for situations like this. A solid lawyer will tear that into pieces. Also, why does that have to translate into transferring of shares? Someone please help me understand as I have so many questions left unanswered.

Along the line we get to see that Chike is being set up to take the fall with Bamidele. It doesn't just make sense to me that Grace could not tell Chike about this plot for a whole 3 months. Yes, yes, i guess she was being watched but common.... they both sleep in the same room . Common friend!

Which brings me back to my earlier point, If Chike is such a notorious drug trafficker that the US Drug Enforcement wants her, then she should have been portrayed to be powerful and highly connected.

Another question that got raised  in my head is , How possible is it to transfer shares of such magnitude without the presence of lawyers? Does death invalidate the transfer of shares already signed? Assuming it was a legal transfer

At the end we see a face-off between Madam, Chike and Edem. i must say it was not a bit impressed at all. It was lack lustre. 

On a positive note, i enjoyed watching the movie, the picture quality was very good, the story line is quite different from what we have been exposed to in Nollywood in the past. It seems to that there is a gradual shift to crime related movies after the good reception of King of Boys.

Did the actors and actresses deliver their roles, well..sort of. However, I would say the best delivery was Madam played by Tina Mba ( Aunty Tina and I were neighbours many years ago. I was just a tiny winy girl less than 5 and she was a big aunty already into acting back then). Another positive to this film is the soundtracks. 

Overall i would give it a 6/10, and i would recommend it to friends and family. I see the quality of movies coming out of Nollywood getting better and better. 

Have you watched the movie? What are your thoughts on it? 

One Love 

xxx

How Do You Handle Failure and Disappointments?

"IF AT FIRST YOU DONT SUCCEED, DUST YOURSELF UP AND TRY AGAIN" - Try Again by Aaliyah

Long time no post. Its 2020 yay!!!!
Its the start of a new decade, new disappointments, new failures and new successes.

The last few months of 2019 were tough for me. I had been chasing some things for a couple of months and I didn't get it. As a result I became disappointed. To make matters worse, I had the flu in full force, I suppose my immune system was down because I was emotionally and mentally down.

I am not a stranger to dejection or disappointment. I have had my own share of disappointment and failures. A very big share I must say. I remember a time when all I experienced were disappointments. It felt as if I was cursed and it dealt a very big blow to my confidence. I got apprehensive about taking steps, because I felt it would result in failure. However, I never wore the fear or the disappointment I felt on my face. I still went about my daily activities with a cheerful and beautiful face. In retrospect now, am glad for all the disappointments in the past, because I believe it was all working out for my good and I have learnt that when things don't work out, there's something better in store for me.

I am not one to talk about my disappointments, I rarely shared with close friends the challenges I faced except for family. I do not like a pity party. I like to deal with my challenges myself.
Any way, that was years ago, but here I was again, going through disappointment howbeit a different kind.

Truth is, if i have learnt anything over the years, it is to channel the hurt and disappointment I feel towards my goal. I have learnt to use the setback as fuel to propel me forward. I have learnt to charge myself up by remembering all the challenges I have overcome, constantly keeping my eyes on my goals and aspirations, and getting motivation from other peoples stories.

If I had let the disappointments and failures I experienced consume me, I probably wont be where I am right now. So yes,I was angry and disappointed for a couple of days, but after those days passed, I dusted myself up and moved on. You see I am a mental person, I have a mental picture of what I want and how I want things, and I always work towards that picture.

I'll tell you a true story. Recently, I had to sleep at an International Airport in Europe, just because of a mistake I made. I must confess, it was not the first time I was passing the night at the airport. Me, my husband and my then 10 months old son had spent the night at a Belgian airport, because our flight got in late, no trains were running, all hotels booked and our contact person decided to switch off his phone ( that's story for another day).

Anyhow, this time around, i was sleeping at the airport alone. My family had to leave me behind, it was so emotional, my sons cried and didn't want to go but my husband had to be strong. By the morning of the next day, I was able to make it back home, not after parting with lots of money.

 

a picture of me sleeping on a couch at the virtually empty airport

In retrospect, when i remember that occasion, I pick out the lessons learnt and i laugh. I laugh because its now hilarious to me, i laugh because i think the first experience of sleeping at the airport prepared me for my second experience. I was not fearful , i was just cold 😰.

Fast forward to 2020, the disappointments I faced late last year has turned out for good. That thing I was chasing, I finally got. Yippee!!!

So i want to ask you a question, how do you deal with rejection and set back. I really would like to hear your experiences and how you dealt with it.

One Love
xoxo

Letter to my Mum: 5 YEARS ON

Dear Mum,

Its exactly 5 years today you were laid to rest.

Its 5 years you have exited this sinful world to rest in the bosom of the Lord.
Its 5 years of knowing that you died a Christian, as i remember you vividly telling the nurse at the hospital that you were a born again christian.

I am quite sure now, that you knew you would die that fateful day, and i am quite sure now that you had no fear as those last tears trickled down your face. I told you to stop crying that you would be fine, but you shook your head because you knew. I believe you saw the angels as they came to take you away in peace, joy and everlasting happiness.

I am glad to tell you mum, that i only cry occasionally now, especially when i  remember the things you loved. Your favourite movie was "Pretty Woman", so now whenever i watch pretty woman, i remember you with fondness. Its true what they say that time can heal.

Mum, i have finally stopped blaming myself for your death, but i don't think i will ever stop blaming the Nigerian healthcare system, especially Asokoro Hospital for not attending to you immediately, or making us wait for over 2 hours and still not attending to you. I strongly believe every second is important when it comes to saving lives. 

My mum, my gist partner, let me gist you.
So William is now 5 years old, he is in year 1 at school, and he is doing well. He is now very calm and gentle unlike the crying baby you knew. He is very caring and likes to talk a lot. Maybe he will grow up to be a lawyer or an engineer as he also likes to analyse and build things.

Well, after you left us, we welcomed Olamipo into the family; Big brother and wife gave her a french name also. William has a little brother Edward, he is not little anymore, he is 3 now, so full of life and active. Mum, big sister has a son! Yes, Iyi is so full of life.  I think he and Edward are same in character. I imagine both of them being left with grandpa!!! Oh my god!!!!. He likes to eat raw tomatoes like me! Blood is indeed thicker than water. 
He is 2 now and keeps your daughter on her feet. 
We also have Ademilekan, our own little baba. He looks so much like big brother when he was a toddler. Olamipo is the only girl in the clan now, our princess. Any man that would marry her in the future has to contend with all her brothers and cousins. 😅

I must confess mum, i haven't spent time with my nephews and nieces, as i have relocated to the UK to be with Matt, as you eagerly wanted me to. Matt always misses you, you were his paddy out of everyone.He is a good man mum, just like you knew.

Dad is fine. It was so hard for him after you left, but thank God for family. We helped each other pull through. He is keeping healthy and busy. He looks like under 50 now 😂. I haven't seen him in a long while, but thank God for technology. I hope to see him soon. A lot has happened mum, a whole lot of good things have happened after you went to be with the Lord.

During your funeral, so many people came mum! they all had good things to say about you. You were a really nice and generous woman and people testified to it. Every time i remember you, i remember your generousity and it makes me reflect on what is most important in this life; touching lives.

Your children are doing fine, we are all making progress and your 5 grandchildren are also well and healthy.

Mum, am no more that baby of the house you gave birth to. Sometimes i find it hard to believe i am a mum of 2 boys, juggling her home with career. You always knew me to be quite ambitious and career minded, well mum, I am consistently making progress. It is so hard to juggle, and sometimes am envious of those women who still have mothers and can drop off their kids. There are times i just want to rant to my mum about the realities of life, but its OK. I know you are in heaven smiling down on us and you are helping us pull though life.

Finally mum, i just want you to know i love you. I can also speak for big sister and big brother that they love you and you are always in our hearts.

I needed to write this epistle not because you can see it, but because i want to put it out into the universe and because i would like posterity to know how deeply loved you are.

Love you mum! Always will!!!

(picture source: family archives)

King of Boys: Is this the best movie to come out of Nollywood?

Yesterday, I rounded up my drama-free weekend by watching Kemi Adetiba's King of Boys. A movie that has garnered much media attention and twitter rave. Since its release in 2018, I had been yearning to watch it, so immediately I saw it on Netflix, I could not wait till after the boys had gone to bed to have my me-time in front of the TV.

As a person who is very close to a film maker, I watched the movie from the lens of a movie maker as well as viewer. The movie opens with an impressive scene of the Nigerian glam we are all familiar with. We are introduced to Eniola Salami played by Sola Sobowale, a socialite who hobnobs with the high and mighty. Before the end of that scene, we get to see the different side of this woman. I found myself asking, Who is this woman? Why does she command such respect? Why is she brutal?

One of the characteristics of a good movie is the ability to catch and retain the viewers attention right from the first scene. The first scene of King of Boys caught my attention, and got me glued to my seat.

As the movie progressed, I saw a woman who is like the Robin Hood of the poor and downtrodden. Oba is shrewd yet nice, a business woman with great salesmanship. She is feisty, ruthless, assertive and charming. Oba is deliberate in her actions, not loosing focus of her ultimate goal. Oba has the characteristics of a successful psychopath.

The movie has two main plots; Eniola as Oba and the young Eniola as a girl child who experienced the harshness of life at an earlier age, and how these experiences formed who she became.  The movie played out how she tried to survive in a very harsh political climate as a powerful woman fighting for what she considered rightfully hers, setting in motion events that ultimately snowballed out of control.

We see her fighting to hold on to her political power, whilst maintaining order in her clandestine activities. She is a woman of many parts, you either hate her or love her. Other cast members put up brilliant performances too; Gobir the NCCC official who is as straight as a ruler. Kemi, Eniola's daughter from her friend who is highly educated and her mum's right hand person and not forgetting Akorede, alias makanaki; the crime lord who was tired of paying allegiance to Oba.

King of Boys is a story different from the all too familiar stories that emanate from Nollywood. It showcased the political scene of Nigerian society, the juxtaposition of Lagos life; the rich and poor, posh areas and slums. It showed us a powerful female kingmaker.

Having watched Sola Sobowale from the days of Super Story, and recently Wedding party, I was absolutely impressed by her acting, and I sincerely cannot think of any woman who could have interpreted that role the way she did. She is an actor's actor.


I cannot but commend the directing, lightening, costuming, photography that made up the movie. Kemi Adetiba is a master story teller. She gave us a movie that would for a very long time linger in my memory as the best movie to come out of Nollywood so far.

King of Boys is that movie I can proudly recommend to my non-Nigerian friends and colleagues. I am proud of that movie, proud of Kemi Adetiba, Sola Sobowale and the entire cast & crew of King of Boys

Have you watched the movie? What are your thoughts on it?


(picture credits: google.com)

Toronto Raptors: A Story of Determination, Discipline and Alignment

Am not a Canadian, never been to Toronto or Canada as a whole. The closest link I have to Canada is having family and friends who live there and having being offered an admission into a Canadian University many years ago for my masters programme.

When Toronto Raptors won the Game 6 finals on June 13, 2019, I made nothing of it. Mainly because i am not much of a Basketball fan, and also because I did not think it was a big deal for any team to win a title. However, when I started noticing the frenzy and jubilation around the win and the team I thought they must be more to it.

So some days ago, I read an article written by Jennifer Chan on  Medium. She wrote on the Toronto Raptors and the stories behind the individual players.

The story of these winners captivated me, and reiterated the belief i have, that everyone can better themselves irrespective of background. More so,I genuinely think we can turn our pain into fuel for success.

My state of mind is always about seeking motivation, and whenever possible highlighting inner strength versus external factors.

The story of the raptors is one of strength, courage, belief, self will, determination and alignment.

I strongly believe that our lives is a puzzle; we keep putting the pieces together and little by little the puzzle starts making sense. Then at the right time, all the forces align together and there’s a shift. The puzzle is solved.

Hurrah!!! We start to reap the benefits of all our hard work, and keep working even harder to continue in success.

The forces in the case of the raptors is a combination of Masai Ujiri ( President of the Toronto Raptors), the individual players with similar backgrounds, their dedication to the team and sheer zeal all mixed up together to cause that 'IT' moment. When eventually all the hard work pays and the whole world sees the success.

You might ask, how does this apply to my personal life?

Well, all am saying is keeping solving the puzzle of your life one piece at a time. Keep taking steps no matter how little towards your goals, keep learning, keep networking, keep doing whatever it is,you set your heart to do. Even if it seems like you are not making progress, keep at it. One day all the forces will align in your favour and you will look back and see how every action you took days or years ago, led to that great moment of success.

I wish the Toronto Raptors more success in their future endeavours.

One Love
xx

Are you Mentally healthy?

Mental Health has become the buzz word and rightly so, as more awareness is being raised to ensure people understand that we all have a mental health which should be looked after just like we look after other areas of our lives.




Positive thoughts Positive Life

Some years ago, not many people understood the need to be mentally healthy. Not many people spoke publicly about their mental health challenges. 
Thankfully, the reverse is the case now. 

Prince William, recently opened up about mental health pressures in a BBC TV documentary. He talked about the pain of losing his mother at an early age, and he alongside his brother Prince Harry launched a mental health campaign called Heads Together.I also watched a documentary on BBC called ''Nadiya: Anxiety and Me", where Nadiya Hussain openly addressed her issues with Anxiety.

I lost my mother almost 4 years ago, and I can relate with Prince William and Prince Harry on the emotional effect of losing a loved one. I still grief for my mum, and just recently recognised that I need help with dealing with those emotions.

More and more people, celebrities and regular people alike are talking about their mental health.  Some days ago, while speaking to a colleague of mine who happens to be the mental health champion for my team, she mentioned that sometimes you feel poorly, like having a headache or a cold, and you don't need to see a doctor, all you need is over the counter medication and rest. While sometimes, a person may have health issues like a bacterial infection that requires seeing a doctor, while some people have serious health issues that may require surgery.
She likened it to our mental health, some days, you may feel down with emotions such as sadness, anxiety, low self esteem and you can easily shake it off and get back to your normal healthy mental state. However, if a person is having difficulty getting back to their normal healthy state of mind, and these emotions are taking over their lives, making them unable to function then they need to seek help.

I believe no one is immune to having bad days. I am not happy everyday, am not excited or motivated everyday.Some days I get overwhelmed trying to balance my responsibilities as a wife, mother with my personal needs.

It doesn't help that we live in a 'modern' world of loneliness ( with internet and social media reducing actual human interaction with others), a world of 'pressure' to impress and create a perception of success or wealth. The pressure to achieve all your life goals before the golden age of '30' or '40'. The pressure to be the ideal weight '65kg' wearing size '8' or '10'. The pressure to look certain way. The pressure to always buy expensive birthday gifts or Christmas gifts for friends and family. The pressure to have your kids dressed in the best clothes and shoes. Or the pressure to enrol your kids for every  after school activity there is, just to show that you are a good parent. The list of modern pressures is endless...

Not surprisingly, all these affect our mental health. Especially when a person begins to feel he/she is not meeting up with societal expectations. Recent statistics shows that more people are using one anti-depressant drugs than ever before in the UK

Being mentally healthy requires making conscious effort to determine what takes priority in your life. Recognising that most battles start from the mind. Learning how to strike a balance and be fully grounded. Learning to identify situations or people that cause us distress, and being able to distance ourselves from it./them. Knowing what makes you happy, and actively making yourself happy. Maintaining an atmosphere of positivity, being willing to talk to someone and not being ashamed to seek professional help if the need arises.

For me, I have learnt over the last few years to recognise when my emotions are running haywire. I know when negative thoughts start dropping into my mind, and I know what to do to address it. I know when am feeling down and discouraged, I recognise when am tired both physically and mentally. Am learning to recognise a distressing situation, and most importantly I take BREAKS.

I take a break from social media occasionally, I take physical breaks for rest. I know how to withdraw into my personal shell and recharge area. I have recently recognised that  I need to speak to a professional about the grief and guilt I feel due to the death of my mum. I am guarding my mental health jealously

Your mental health is very important, you need to be mentally healthy in order to function at optimal levels and achieve your goals. Protect your mental health and guard it.


One Love
xx

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth


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tshirt @very
plaited skirt @very

The Power of Positive Thinking and Desires.

I remember reading the book "The Secret" some years ago, based on the recommendation of my former boss, who ensured all his employees read it. He was of the opinion that reading that book will positively affect our productivity at work. I am not sure if it affected my productivity, but I am sure that it had a profound effect on me.

Controlling our thoughts is one of the most difficult skills to master. I for example, found it extremely difficult to ponder on a thought for long. I often got distracted by things around me, my mind wanders off to so many places, and routine activities. I find myself thinking about what to make for diner, if I have booked after school for my son? so many things go through my mind per second. I often joke that my mind is like a laptop with so many tabs open.

My post today is not just about being focused on a thought, but rather just like "The Secret", its about thinking positive and uplifting thoughts. It is about creating positive energy though our thoughts, and sending it into the atmosphere, which in turn will bring positive things into our lives.

Some months ago, I wrote a post on "In Favour of Flexibility".  You can read it here . At the time of writing that post, I was a jobless , stay-at-home mum, who occasionally volunteered at a non-profit organisation. I had relocated to a new country, gotten pregnant, and subsequently been off work for over 3 years raising a family. I was keen on getting back into the workforce. I was told by some people, how it would be hard for me to get a professional role, even with my previous experience, because I had no UK work experience. But, I had a strong desire of what kind of job I wanted. I wanted a job that will enable me to grow, I wanted an industry that will force me to learn new things, most importantly, I wanted to have time for my family. I consciously thought about how I would want my work-life to be balanced. I was serious about wanting a career as a woman as well as wanting to be actively involved in my children's life. Those were my thoughts and my desires. I even went as far as putting it to paper by writing about it.

Well, it shouldn't come as a surprise that, within 3 months of that post, I got a good job in a reputable organization. A job that provides the work-life balance I so earnestly desired and put into the universe through my thoughts. I attribute this to the energy I sent into the atmosphere and the work done to prepare myself for the job.

As a person, I do not follow the full guidelines stated in "The Secret", but one thing I do, is think positive thoughts, I day dream about the kind of life I want. I have a mental picture of where I would like to be, what I would like to achieve, and things I would like to do. I think about it, wish for it, work towards it and pray about it.

Like Earl Nightingale said "We become what we think about".

Action Point: Dream Big. Think about the best you can achieve, and start working towards it.

One Love

Podcasts - Self-development on the move.

Hi Lovelies,

This year I set out on a journey of self-development and character building, in order to upgrade my life. Looking at months gone by, I can categorically say I have moved from my baseline to level 1 in terms of self development. I have read books, attended a master class, and listened to a few podcasts.

I realised that podcasts resonated better with me, they fit into my lifestyle without exerting too much effort. I could easily pop in my earphones and listen to podcasts whilst on my way to work, or while doing my school runs, cooking or on the bus going to the nail studio.

My popular podcasts have been "Jesus and Jollof " by Luvvie Ajayi (The Do-Better Manual) and Yvonne Orji (Insecure). This podcast is filled with humour and encouragement. Luvvie and Yvonne, talk about the challenges they have faced in their industry, their strength of character, faith and most importantly resilience. I always listen to "Jesus and Jollof" on full blast while cooking via my Bluetooth speaker. If you are a Nigerian in diaspora, and you need a podcast that gives you a flavour of "Naija" and contemporary issues, then you need to listen to "Jesus and Jollof".


Some days ago, I was looking for podcasts that would inspire me, as I was feeling low. Then I came across "Chase Your Fears" by Dayhanna Costa and Peter Nagy. OMG!!!! this podcast blew my mind. It was what I needed to hear that day, the next day and today. Dayhanna spoke about confronting your inner bully, you know that little voice in your head ( your defence mechanism) that stops you from going after that goal of yours, or starting that business, or going back to school???? Yes, that's your inner bully.

She and Peter shared true life stories of how they overcame they set out to do the things they wanted to do ( starting the podcast) irrespective of their fears.

I have always read about facing your fears, and stuffs like that, but the way Dayhanna and Peter broke it down using the analogy of the bully in a child's playground, really resonated with me. If you are in a playground with your child, and a bully comes along to tell your child off, or tries to speak down to your child, the natural instinct and response will be to talk to speak up for your child.
Same thing with us, that voice that's always saying you are not good enough for that job, you cant speak in public, you cant start that course, you cant start that business, is just our inner bully. And just as you speak up for your child, you also need to speak up to your inner bully.

My first step therefore, as an action point is that, I have decided to do everything I have been afraid of doing, starting with cutting my hair ( I have been wanting to cut off my hair for years, but have not been bold enough) to revisiting old, buried goals.

I totally recommend listening to "Chase Your Fears" by Dayhanna Costa and Peter Nagy to everyone who needs to step out of their comfort zones.

On other matters, I cant wait to get my hands on Michelle Obama's memoir: Becoming. I read the excerpts this morning and its made me very tasty to read her book.

I leave you with this words " The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your utmost best today".

One Love

(photo credits: Google Images)

International Day of the Girl Child

Happy #Internationaldayofthegirlchild.

Oct 11th was marked worldwide as the International Day of the Girl Child.


The girl child has come a long way, from the days of when girls were only groomed to be wives, mothers and home keepers, to the present world where girls have transformed into women of substance, world leaders, business tycoons, media moguls, film directors etc. Women can now attain the same level of success as men.



(picture credits: salvation army)


Still, there's more to be done, especially in third world and developing countries, where girls are turned into child brides, or forced to under genital mutilation due to cultural beliefs. We most all seek to ensure girls world over have the same opportunities as boys. It is said that if you educate a girl, you educate the nation.



In celebration of this day, I would like to highlight some women who give me inspiration, women who have broken boundaries. Women who can be looked at as role models.


1. Oprah Winfrey

This media tycoon needs no introduction. She is an epitome of self belief, strength and charity. From her days on the Oprah Winfrey Show, to OWN network. She is a very strong advocate for girl child education.

(picture credits: medium.com)

2. Theresa May - Prime Minister, United Kingdom


Love her or hate her, Mrs May, has carried the weight of the nation on her shoulders. She has shown tenacity and strong character even in the face of uncertainty due to Brexit.

(picture credits: capx.co)

3. Ava DuVernay

Movie lovers like myself will know Ava. She is an American movie director, who is the first black female director to be nominated for a Golden Globe Award, for the film Selma. I watched her fantasy file "A wrinkle in Time", and I think all girls, irrespective of race should see that movie. Ava proves, that your never too old chase your dreams.

(picture credits: avaduvernay.com)

4. Serena Williams

 If Serena doesn't motivate you, I wonder who will. She is an American professional tennis player. Serena has won an open record 23 grand slams. I admire her depth, strength, character off and on court, drive and consistency. She defines focus, she defines vision and she defines tenacity. I watched her  #Nike "Just Do It" advert several times with tears rolling down my cheeks. If there is one person in the whole world I would like to meet, its Serena. (Yes, I said it, and desire it, and it shall be unto me, as I desire. )

(picture credits: wohspioneer.org)

5.Shonda Rhimes

If you ever watched "Greys Anatomy", "Private Practice", "Scandal" and more recently, "How to get away with murder"; then you must have heard of Shonda Rhimes. She created the strong women characters we see in Olivia Pope and Annalise Keating. She is an American television producer, screenwriter and author. She was named one of TIME magazine's 100 People Who Help Shape the World, and I couldn't agree less. Shonda is a woman who has it all. Her ability to manage her career and family is a driving force for me. I watched her TED talk (My Year of saying Yes to everything) and I have adapted it into my action-plan.

(picture credits: Ted.com)

6. Mitchelle Obama

When I have a daughter, I plan to call her mitchelle. That's so much an impact Mitchelle has in my life. She is an epitome of grace, character, finesse, strength and intellect. I cant wait ot lay my hands on her book, "Becoming". As the wife to the first black-American president in history, Mitchelle exemplified everything we want our girls to be. In 2014, Mitchelle Obama joined the campaign to bring back school girls who had been kidnapped by Boko Haram in Northern Nigeria. She tweeted a picture of herself holding a poster with the #bringbackourgirls campaign hashtag., thereby, drawing more attention to the plight to these girls. She is a strong advocate for Girl Education, and her popular quote "When they go low, we go high" keeps trending.

(picture credits: forbes.com)

<sup>Finally, a lot of women are doing great things locally within their communities, towns, cities and countries. Women are setting examples for young girls in business, health, technology, law, politics and science.

It is my desire, that every girl child born on this will experience true freedom, and be given the opportunity to dream and live their dreams.

What are you doing to help?

One Love
xx</sup>

Proudly Woman: In Favour of Flexibilty

Proudly Woman: In Favour of Flexibilty: Work-Life balance is a buzzword thrown around, especially in the work environment. As a woman with school age children, it seems like a tra...

In Favour of Flexibilty

Work-Life balance is a buzzword thrown around, especially in the work environment. As a woman with school age children, it seems like a trade-off. Its either family vs. career progression

It has always been the assumption that women cannot have it all; family, career, love and growth without having to sacrifice one for the other. A woman who wants to have a fulfilling career in what ever field, must either let go of love/marriage/children and face squarely her career and vice-versa.

Having taken a 3 year break from mainstream employment to concentrate on family, I passionately desire to have a thriving career in my field and also spend quality time nurturing my kids. As a result of my break, I have lost some years in my career, which I would have to catch up on through methodical planning.

In my present environment, being a full-time working mom comes with a lot of stress and expenses. The average cost of childcare in the UK for 30 hours is between £160.41-£240.00 per week depending on the type of childcare.

In fairness, the UK government has introduced measures to encourage women (parents) to get back into employment. However, lots of women still prefer to stay home to take care of the kids simply because it is cheaper, and generally it feels better.

One would think that in the 21st century; the century that has given us the beautiful technologies for a easier, fast-paced life, things would be different. I mean, in this world of Internet technologies like Facebook, http, cloud-based resources, remote conferencing;women should be able to attain a balance just as easily as men.

I have just recently started job hunting, and top of my priority is a flexible work environment. I don't think its selfish of me to want to have it all. I have already sacrificed some years of my career life, for the good of humanity (I believe procreation is good for posterity and the world).

During a recent discussion on work-life balance with my mentor, He said; There will only be concrete change if women leaders, speak up about it, and strive to create a culture that will enable women with families to attain career growth without sacrificing their families. In summary, Women need to help women.

Thanks to technology, It has become easier for working mothers to stay connected with their families while at work, or work from home. A lot of organizations are also creating an enabling environment for working mothers to thrive via remote work opportunities, and flexible time schedule.

I look forward to seeing more opportunities created for working mothers in the work place. I look forward to seeing more women having it all. I look forward to seeing more and more women in leadership, who have conquered the challenges of striking a balance. I am in favour of flexibility.

Do share your thoughts or advice, on how you have been able to attain work-life balance as career woman.

One Love


(picture credit: Athena Coaching)

IF I WAS A HANDMAID?

I recently watched the Golden Globes Award winning and Emmy award nominated #Handmaid's Tale. A dystonian series based on the best selling novel by Margaret Atwood.

In The Handmaid's tale, a totalitarian theonomic society exists in Gilead, where society is governed by the laws of ‘God’. Gilead came to exist after a violent coup of a part of what used to be America, by a group of religious zealots.

Men are the alphas while women are brutally subjugated, and by law are not allowed to work, own property, handle money, or read

It’s a society of class, where everyone is divided into a class system.

Women are categorized into; 

Wives (who wear blue and turquoise);  Marthas named after Martha in the bible, are cooks and housekeepers ( they wear green); Handmaids are fertile women subjected to child-bearing servitude( they wear red)

There's also the econowives , who are wives of lower-class men ( they wear gray);  Women prisoners called Unwomen , who are worked to death clearing toxic waste in the colonies.

Not forgetting the Aunts,  who train and oversee the handmaids (they wear brown) and Jezebels, who are prostitutes in secret brothels catering to the elite ruling class 

The Male class is generally divided into;

The commanders, who are the ruling class; the Eyes,  who are a secret police watching over the general populace for signs of rebellion, and Hunters , who track down people attempting to flee the country, 

Handmaids are owned by the government and subjected to child-bearing servitude. Taken from the old testament bible where Rachel offered up here handmaid, Bilhah to bear children for Jacob.

Handmaids are given to high ranking senior officers (commandants) whose wives are infertile or barren.

The main character June (Offred) is a handmaid, whose child prior to Gilead has been taken and her husband escaped to Canada. She is assigned to the home of the Gileadan Commander Fred Waterford and his wife Serena Joy. 

You can get a full gist of the series here.

After the first episode, I was totally intrigued by it, and dutifully binge-watched season 1 in 3 days.

As i watched the series, i could not help, but play out scenarios in my head, and I asked myself, what would I do if I was a handmaid in Gilead?

I would never show my hatred for the system openly like Ofglen/Ofsteven. I am learning to be diplomatic in my feelings (like or dislike) about people or situations, especially if i lack the power to effect a change in the situation. i would like to draw my enemies closer, plan on my strategy and strike when unexpected after having won their trust. 

1. I would never give up on getting out of the system like offred and Ruby/Moira.
2. I would never think of abandoning my child and flee to freedom even if the opportunity presents itself like Offred.
3. I would form alliances with anyone feasibly possible, like Nick just to make sure I can help myself and my child
4. I would be bold like offred (June) to give birth alone. Irrespective of experiential knowledge, she was very bold, going through labour alone and birthing a beautiful soul, all ALONE! Given the circumstances, she had no other choice.
5. I would like to have offred as a friend, that is if I am not offred.
6. i would try to maintain a positive outlook to the situation like of Ofwarren, even though she tried several times to kill herself.

The Handsmaids tale, has made me realise the price of freedom, the price the women suffragettes who fought for right to vote had to pay. To appreciate the freedom to be able to able to read a book, write a blog post, vote, own a bank account, have a career/business etc.

The handmaid tale is a tale of Feminism and freedom, or lack of it thereof.

If you have watched the Handmaids Tale, kindly share your thoughts on the series

One Love 

xxx

(picture credits: google.com)

ROLE PLAYING: How To Be Your Husband's Side-Chic

Hi lovelies,

So the term 'side-chic' has been coming up a lot lately, and even though its not a new concept, it seems to have taken a new turn.

Lots of married women are complaining about 'side-chics', and some single ladies are not even aware they have been made 'side-chics' (those men!!!!!! we probably need to send them to planet saturn 😆.

Below is a youtube video i did, talking about how to become your husband's side chic.

I have received lots of mixed responses on this video, but feel free to drop a comment about what you think.





One Love
xxxxxxx

#GIRLCHITCHAT :Should a Woman Make the First Move?

Hi lovelies,



I know I deserve an award for absenteeism! its been ages I posted on this blog.

But here's what I have been up to. I started a YouTube Channel in February about Beauty, Health and DIY. I also started a #GirlsChitChat series.



Below is an episode of the series.

Please watch, like and subscribe.



One Love

xoxo