Dont blank out your spouse.

Growing up I used to be a snob..or so people thought. But in actual fact, i wasnt snobbish..I just wasn't very warm to people I didn't know. I would keep my distance and watch from afar..and when am comfortable I would come close.

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But, I knew very well how to give the cold treatment and coil into my shell if someone hurt me...but as I grew I realised its not a good communication strategy. Actually, now am of the opinion that you should react and voice out your pain and anger when you're hurt.

Now, I said all the above to say that...'you could blank out your spouse' or vice versa unknowingly.

More particularly...you could be unconsciously cutting off your spouse from your life...and we all know what that could lead to ..

So what does it mean to blank your spouse? Blanking your spouse means when you're deliberately not talking to your spouse because you're angry and then it worsens into a situation where you don't share your dreams, aspirations, challenges, fears, hopes anymore with him/her.

After a while, it becomes an unconscious thing for you to take personal decisions without discussing with your spouse.

Have you ever been in this situation? I know I have. The effect of this is that, the closeness and bond you share with your spouse begins to wane. Now when that bond wanes, its like a  crack in the wall..and the lizard can creep in.

The lizard could be so many things, major of which is infidelity.

It has become sort of a cliché that communication is key in Marriage, so I won't bore you with how important communication is.

Finally, as some embark on this journey of marriage or some continue in it, please remember to be open about your emotions to your spouse.

Anyone with stories of how blanking out has affected their relationship, please holla...or if you have some advice for us...I'll be delighted.

One Love!!!

Mothers..would you rather be a sit at home mum or a career woman?

I was inspired to write this post after the recent kidnap case of the Orekoya boys.
Being a mother myself I could vaguely imagine what was going through the mind of the mother of these kids. She probably would be close to insanity while waiting for them to be found. Or while waiting for money so her family could pay the ransom fee.

To think that they were kidnapped by their nanny is disheartening. #marythekidnapper..as she became popularly known. Am pissed not only because she is a woman and stooped so low as to kidnap the kids put in her care, but also because she smeared that beautiful name 'Mary'.

Anyways, so i have been thinking..as a mother, would I prefer to be a sit at home mum, doing nothing? Depending solely on the income of my husband or given the economic situation would I continue with being a career woman or a career business woman? Just thinking ooooo...

Reason been that, the world is turning upside down and its getting so difficult to raise kids. You don't even know who to trust to help you with your kids.

In today's society, you find children being sexually assaulted by their supposed aunties and uncles, some are physically abused. All sorts of vices and ills are carried out against children nowadays, that it makes me scared and wonder.

To make matters worse, the economy is such that both parents need to work or do business to make life comfortable for those kids. So they leave the home early in the morning and return late at nights.

Some people say, let the children attend extra curricular activities in school to keep them busy in a safe environment till when one of the parent is able to pick them up...but is that the best? What about when they are on vacation?

For mums who have trusted siblings or relations they can leave their kids with..that's alright, but what about those who don't?

Like we say in naija ' man must hustle'

Have thought severally about this, and am still thinking.... Even when you're a stay-at-home mum, we still need help with the house chores and all....hmmmm...so we still need nannies or house helps.

What then is the solution? Without having to face the threat of a wicked house help like the Ugandan nanny or the kidnapper like #marythekidnapper?


Let's talk concerned women!

Fire on the mountain

The popular Nigerian musician Asa...sang a song that goes thus ' there is fire on the mountain, and nobody seems to be on the run....there is fire on the mountain top and no one is a running...'.

The phrase 'fire on the mountain',denotes trouble...so today am going to be writing about a scenario in marriage that denotes 'fire on the mountain'


Sometime during the week I heard a story that sparked a thought in my head.
The husband of this woman is buying properties and investments in his name and his father's name. Grrhhhhhhhhhh....ring any bell? He's married and has kids...so why is he not buying using his name and his wife's or his kids name

So let's talk.....isn't that a cause for alarm? I mean....what if something happens to him? What happens to the properties? His argument is that they are legally married hence even if its in his name, then it belongs to them both...Really? In Nigeria? Is that how the legal system works?

Let's assume the man makes a will...before death...isn't a will contestable?

I have seen cases where, after the death of the man, the family take over the properties and leave the wife and kids with nothing. This is prevalent in Nigeria..hence the reason most sensible and sincere men buy properties and investments in the names of their children or in the name of husband and wife I.e 'Mr and Mrs'..

So when a man deliberately buys properties in his own name or in his father's name...then there is fire on the mountain.

So what should she do?

Well for starters, she needs to confront the man and ask him questions about their marriage, his plans for his kids and herself.

Secondly, she needs to start having  a backup financial plan. Some money saved up, or start a business or get a job; so that she can be financially independent.

Thirdly and most importantly she needs to pray. Prayvabout her home and the future of her marriage.

I'll like to hear from you my readers. What's your thought on this.


One Love!!!

Something about italian pasta

Italians are known for a couple of things. One of which is Pizza,another is Mafia, another is luxury fashion and yet another very popular one is Pasta.
Of all mentioned above, a whole lot of women can identify with fashion, pizza and pasta.

So we headed to a restaurant to enjoy a meal of Italian pasta.
I had pasta cooked with fish + roasted calamari.

Calamari is squid, and its a delicacy in most parts of the world. Mostly fried or roasted.

As a confirmed food lover...it was bliss for me. Even my little one was not left out of the fun.

My hubby had macaroni cooked in tomato and bacon. It was nice too. Trust the Italians with their culinary expertise.

Permit me to say Ciao.

One love!!!

Sharp Roman Cabbie

Buongiorno! 

Its a chill sunny morning here, standing at the balcony of my hotel room in Rome.
I love this weather compared to the hot, dry weather back home in Abuja.

Talking about home..the wind of change has blown in Nigeria...Am so happy about it, happy that Nigerians stood up for change. I hope this new leadership will steer the country to greatness.

So back to my trip...the fun has just begun..will be giving you more gist as it unfolds.

Lest i forget, i had a rude reality check yesterday.
After our arrival, we took a cab to the hotel, and somehow my hubby forgot his laptop and shoes in the cab. Immediately we  noticed it, my hubby informed the hotel, and they promised to help get it back.  But the Nigerian instincts in us told us to go to the airport ourselves and get it.
So, my hubby went back to locate the cab. (did i mention that the cab driver was a lady who was on phone all through the ride from the airport to the hotel? which was a 3km journey)....well, when he saw her, she denied seeing the laptop, and asked him to check the cab himself.

My hubby didn't see the laptop where he left it at the back seat, but after checking severally, he found it hidden under the front seat, away from view. Luckily for him his British airways tag was still on it for identification.

You need to have seen the face of the lady. lol.... so, i said to myself (oyinbo too dey do sharp one).

Normally, upon seeing a forgotten item of a passenger, she ought to have returned it to the hotel where she dropped us. But then again.....it shows people are the same...whether in Nigeria or in Rome.

Anyways I didn't allow that one incident spoil my fun as I proceeded to enjoy Rome. Yeahhh I had a real Italian pizza. Lollll.

So Dearie's ciao!