The popular Nigerian musician Asa...sang a song that goes thus ' there is fire on the mountain, and nobody seems to be on the run....there is fire on the mountain top and no one is a running...'.
The phrase 'fire on the mountain',denotes trouble...so today am going to be writing about a scenario in marriage that denotes 'fire on the mountain'
Sometime during the week I heard a story that sparked a thought in my head.
The husband of this woman is buying properties and investments in his name and his father's name. Grrhhhhhhhhhh....ring any bell? He's married and has kids...so why is he not buying using his name and his wife's or his kids name
So let's talk.....isn't that a cause for alarm? I mean....what if something happens to him? What happens to the properties? His argument is that they are legally married hence even if its in his name, then it belongs to them both...Really? In Nigeria? Is that how the legal system works?
Let's assume the man makes a will...before death...isn't a will contestable?
I have seen cases where, after the death of the man, the family take over the properties and leave the wife and kids with nothing. This is prevalent in Nigeria..hence the reason most sensible and sincere men buy properties and investments in the names of their children or in the name of husband and wife I.e 'Mr and Mrs'..
So when a man deliberately buys properties in his own name or in his father's name...then there is fire on the mountain.
So what should she do?
Well for starters, she needs to confront the man and ask him questions about their marriage, his plans for his kids and herself.
Secondly, she needs to start having a backup financial plan. Some money saved up, or start a business or get a job; so that she can be financially independent.
Thirdly and most importantly she needs to pray. Prayvabout her home and the future of her marriage.
I'll like to hear from you my readers. What's your thought on this.
One Love!!!
Buying properties in his name is not bad but buying in his father's name is an issue, because as you rightly said Nigerians family are not nice after the demise of the son . however incase he writes a will I am pretty sure he will bequeath his property to his children, in the alternative if he doesn't the wife is the first or the kids to apply for letter of administration, under the law it is the wife and children that are given utmost priority should incase the man dies intestate.
ReplyDeleteBolateethole.blogspot.com
Wow bola...am guessing this is a lawyer's advice. Thanks so much. I never knew we had such priority in our legal system. U just broadened my mind.
DeleteBuying property in his name and his fathers name tells me that he has no intention of his wife and children ever getting the property. If his father passes first and then he passes next, then the wife and children have a shot of getting the property. I don't know how it works in Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteYes I also find him suspicious... Especially in Nigeria where the family influence on marriage is high. If he bought properties in his father's name then his siblings have the right to claim the property if his father passes and he also passes. Leaving his wife and kids cut off.
DeleteOnly the man knows why he did that. Maybe they are married and just patching up and he's not sure of what might happen. We don't know the relationship between him and his dad if he trust his dad to take care of his children more than his wife. I know of cases where the man bought properties in his wife's name and she took it from him after divorce and put another man in the house. Peace
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DeleteWell there's a lot left unsaid but in an ideal situation, why would a man trust his father to take care of his kids more than the mother of those kids. Why not buy it in the name of the kids. Is it normal for His father to outlive him?
DeleteSigh!
ReplyDeleteWell, I see no sense in the man buying in his dad's name irrespective of the scenario, especially in this part of the world, Nigeria!
A man should buy properties in the name of "Mr n Mrs" or in his child or children's name if truly the future of the family is dear in his heart.
Yes my dear, that's my thought too. But @bolatito also enlightened us that if he buys in his name and he passes the law gives first priority to his wife and kids
DeleteSigh!
ReplyDeleteWell, I see no sense in the man buying in his dad's name irrespective of the scenario, especially in this part of the world, Nigeria!
A man should buy properties in the name of "Mr n Mrs" or in his child or children's name if truly the future of the family is dear in his heart.
Confrontations doesn't always work.... Lets say you found out without him telling you, confronting him will make things worse, or make it look as though you are after his possessions (not bad in a way). You could talk about your goals, plans, and other things that you feel matters to your family.. and then unsuspectingly bring up the issue (maybe same day or another day-- so you could calm yourself).
ReplyDeleteBeing financially independent is no longer a question or something you do when you've run out of options. It is something the man meets you in, before you even get married. I have seen many carrier, business women who make as much as their husband is making and yet still keeps their home in a good place.
The man who sees you as a hardworking, independent yet dependable and reliable woman will know that buying or not buying properties in your name or kids name will not make any much difference to you.
I know some men who buys properties in their dad's or sibling's name, they tell me their reason is because their wife financially independent and so may not know how to manage their wealth properly for the benefit of their children. That may sound vague, but I think it still plays a part.
I know they are some men who are silly, and would for whatever reason assign his properties to his parent or siblings, but that will disappoint him if he knows that his wife doesn't have time for his money and can take care of their kids whether or not he is there.
Nice post... Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, maybe you need to do more research on your topics before posting them, so that when you are suggesting or recommending things for people to do, it will have a base and a well researched backup.
It is not bad to research your topics, which helps you broaden your writing, makes your posts constructive, informative and makes you sound like a pro with more authority in that area...
I'm Sorry for the long comment... and for sounding like a critic. I am just another blogger, and writer who loves to read good contents...
Oh nice. I appreciate your critic. But I hope you understand that am just relaying a story, as it is..
DeleteOh nice. I appreciate your critic. But I hope you understand that am just relaying a story, as it is..
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