Bedroom-Voice: I married a Cheat.....

Bedroom-Voice: I married a Cheat.....: Hello my people, Am  back again on your computer or phone screen with a story that is captivating.I sincerely hope you'll like this piece,...

I married a Cheat.....

Hello my people,

Am  back again on your computer or phone screen with a story that is captivating.I sincerely hope you'll like this piece, and your contributions would pour in like a stream.

Two Saturdays ago, i went to the salon to make myself beautiful for him and I (giggles)
You would agree wth me, that women spend alot of time trying to look more attractive. We always    seek to have our partners commend on how we look. Even men, want the recommendations and nice compliments about their looks( As a woman, learn to compliment your husband..he might not ask for it, but he likes it.ahahhahhh!)

I am not going to bore you with what hairstyle i made or if i left the salon pleased or not, but am going to tell you about a jist i heard from one of the ladies in the salon.

Actually, it started as an eavesdrop(pardon me, but i have a ear for jist), but after a while when i couldnt bear it anymore i asked the storyteller if i could say my opinion, of which she gladly accepted.

Before i start my story, let me remind you my readers, that my suggestions are solely based on a christian perspective and my respect for the institution called marriage.

The story as narrated by the storyteller goes thus(the names have been changed );

Sheri is a christian lady who got married to Bayo in 2008. They got married at a popular anglican church in Lagos, Nigeria and their wedding was the talk of  town.

Sheri met Bayo went she joined the choir of this church after her NYSC in 2007. Upon joining the choir, it didnt take long before Sheri got noticed due to her sonorous voice. On one of the choir practice days, Bayo walked up to her and introduced himself. From then on, they became friends, and before long, Lovers. To God be the glory, they got married and life was rosy until ......

The snag of this marriage was that unknown to Sheri, Bayo is a prolific cheat. Not less than 3 months after their marriage, sheri noticed that Bayo kept late nights in the name of one meeting at work or the other. He also gave excuses of church programs and choir practice. The irony of the story is that, after marriage, Bayo had stopped Sheri from being part of the choir.

The unfolding of the marriage, brought tears into Sheri's eyes, as in no time Bayo's numerous girlfriends started calling the house to report their pregnancies. On a fateful day, Sheri decided to confront Bayo, and to her surprise, he admitted to having 3 girlfriends, 2 of which are in the choir in church. He also admitted that he has a weakness for women, and he had been trying to find a solution.
He said he thought getting married would help him stop his womanising, but it hasnt.

He pleaded with Sheri, that he loves her, but she should please bear with him.

Sheri, totally heart-broken broke down in tears and cried. She said she was ready to do all in her power to help him break the addiction of  'womanising', and with prayers she was sure they would overcome it.

That was 3 years ago, as of present, Bayo has introduced not less than 5 women to Sheri as 'friends', and to make matters worse, even the pastor cannot do anything about it.
Sheri presently has 1 child for Bayo, but she is unhappy. What should she do?

I found this story very interesting, and it prompted me to ask questions. I asked a couple of friends who are married, both male and female. The responses i got were shocking:

A lot of married women said they knew their husbands cheat, and they have stopped bothering themselves.

The biggest shocker i got was when a guy i spoke to,said his wife cheats on him, but he doesnt know what to do about it. He said he has prayed and he has sought counselling from his pastor.

Upon hearing these stories, i thought it wise to discuss with you. What do you think about this?

Based on the Bible, Marriage is man + wife = 1. Not man + wife + girlfriends = 1.

Marriage should be built on trust, faithfulness and fidelity. Sheri needs the hand of God in her marriage. That marriage should be built on God. and as for Bayo, he needs to surrender to God. There's no addiction too big for God.

Myths and Tips about Sex..You ought to know.

Do you know that you think about Sex both consciously and unconscioulsy everyday?

Research has shown that a man's sexual drive is a natural force that propels him. But, if you think women dont think about sex, or dont like sex..you are super wrong.

Truth be told, a whole lot of us are misinformed about sex. We've grown up with ideas about what sex is, what to expect from sex, and how to relate to sex. This misinformation has prompted this piece on Sex Myths.

While researching on them, i found it interesting that these information are actually just myths. There's no scientific claim to back up their truth, at least that's what i think, and that's what i gathered from my sources.

So lets have a look at these Myths. If you agree with them, let me know. If you dont agree, also let me know.

Myth #1: Great Sex comes naturally.

Have you ever thought that great sex with your spouse is natural? Do you think the chemistry you feel for your spouse will lead to an interesting sexual life? Or do you assume that a great sex life is as magical as it appears on your favorite reality show?

A very big NO. There is no manual on instant intimacy and sexual gratification in marriage. Sexual relationships can be as complex and tedious as rocket science. The “tricks of the trade” that pleased your partner yesterday may not please him or her today. Why? because of psychological, emotional and physical  factors such as stress, mood etc

The only way to maintain a great sex life is  good and continuous communication.As well as willingness to be open to trying new techniques and positions to find out what your spouse partner finds pleasurable at each moment. Great sex is hard work..real hard work

Tip #1: Always create time to talk about sex, and review what your partner wants right at every time.

Myth #2:  Size matters....Oops

You definitely should not come to you as a surprise that size is being discussed here. Penis Size has always been a major source of concern for men. Just the same way a lot of women are not satisfied with the size of their breast. It should be noted that the size of a penis does not determine manhood.

There is no scientific proof that the size of a penis guarantees great sex. Size does not have anything to do with sexual gratification. A woman with a small breast is equally as attractive as a woman with big breasts,and their organs would perform the same function. Same applies to the penis.

Do not let the size of your husband or wives sexual organ create an illusion of what should be expected or what can be achieved in your matrimonial bedroom.

 

Tip #2: If your penis size is of concern to you, try shaving the pubic hair around it. This makes the penis appear or look bigger. For women, exercises can be done to firm up the breast and the vagina.

Myth #3: Men have more sexual urges than women 

Luke is 32 years old and his wife Sara, is 29. Luke is worried because Sara has more sexual energy and drive than him. Sara wants to have sex every day and doesn't get tired even after sex. At first, Luke thought it was because they just got married, but after 3 years of marriage and 1 kid, Sara's urge has not diminished. If anything, her desires have increased, and Luke is finding it hard to keep up.

 Luke is afraid that Sara may cheat on him because of his inability to meet up. 

Does this story sound familiar or strange? A lot of you would agree that it sounds strange. You might even conclude that Luke is a brute or that Sara as a deep psycho-sexual problem.

We have been bombarded into thinking that only men want sex, only men like sex, and only men should initiate sex. But thats just wrong information. Sexual desire and need was created by God. He says in the bible, that the Husband's body is the Wife's, and the Wife's body is the Husband's. Why did He say so?

Women have as much sexual need as men, and it is totally healthy. So many factors affect our sexual makeup, such as environment, culture, religion and society.

More women are discovering themselves and accepting their sexual needs as normal. With the support of a loving and caring husband, a wife need not be ashamed- a man need not feel intimidated. Again, i say communication is key.

NB: Luke and Sara should have an open discussion about their sexual needs.  Luke need not be afraid.

Tip #3: As a woman and a wife, your husband will respect and love you if can communicate clearly to him what your needs. All things should be done in moderation and in a manner such as is respectful.

He Shoots Blanks.....

Here is a story of a friend who was willing to share her experience with me. The names have been changed, any resemblance to a real person or scenerio is a coincidence

Meme met her husband  in a bus on her way to lectures at the University of Lagos. They became friends and it wasnt long before they became inseparable. Tobe was a cool guy, he treated her nicely and was very understanding and supportive of her career advancement.

It didnt come as as surprise therefore, when Tobe proposed to her after 14 months of dating. Meme being overwhelmed with joy accepted the proposal. Meme's parents accepted Tobe even though they are from different tribes.

A wedding date was set, and so it was that they became husband and wife.
Ofcourse after a couple of months, everyone started lookng to see Meme's protruding stomach. Even Meme was anxious to become a mother.

A year passed no sign of pregnancy, and then 2 years..not even a miscarriage. Meme and Tobe decided to seek medical solutions. At first, Tobe was very reluctant to go to the hospital with her, saying that they was nothing wrong with them and they should wait for God's time. After much persuasion they went to see a renowned gyneacologist, who after several tests confirmed that there is a problem, and the problem is that Tobe is shooting blanks.

What does it mean to shoot blank you may ask?
It means Male Infertility. Wikipedia defines it as "the inability of a male to achieve a pregnancy in a fertile female. Male infertility is commonly due to deficiencies in the semen".

Male infertility accounts for 40% - 50% of infertility issues, and can be caused by a number of factors.

Back to the story above, it turned out that Tobe was aware of this problem but didnt tell Meme. Now they are both in a dilemma, especially as the pressure for a child mounts on Meme and she cant tell her relations about this issue.

As a friend, i have encouraged her, to trust in God who can turn every situation around, and also seek  medical ways to solve this problem.

Do you know anyone with such an experience, or similar experience, please tell us your story...


One Love..