Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I married a Cheat.....

Hello my people,

Am  back again on your computer or phone screen with a story that is captivating.I sincerely hope you'll like this piece, and your contributions would pour in like a stream.

Two Saturdays ago, i went to the salon to make myself beautiful for him and I (giggles)
You would agree wth me, that women spend alot of time trying to look more attractive. We always    seek to have our partners commend on how we look. Even men, want the recommendations and nice compliments about their looks( As a woman, learn to compliment your husband..he might not ask for it, but he likes it.ahahhahhh!)

I am not going to bore you with what hairstyle i made or if i left the salon pleased or not, but am going to tell you about a jist i heard from one of the ladies in the salon.

Actually, it started as an eavesdrop(pardon me, but i have a ear for jist), but after a while when i couldnt bear it anymore i asked the storyteller if i could say my opinion, of which she gladly accepted.

Before i start my story, let me remind you my readers, that my suggestions are solely based on a christian perspective and my respect for the institution called marriage.

The story as narrated by the storyteller goes thus(the names have been changed );

Sheri is a christian lady who got married to Bayo in 2008. They got married at a popular anglican church in Lagos, Nigeria and their wedding was the talk of  town.

Sheri met Bayo went she joined the choir of this church after her NYSC in 2007. Upon joining the choir, it didnt take long before Sheri got noticed due to her sonorous voice. On one of the choir practice days, Bayo walked up to her and introduced himself. From then on, they became friends, and before long, Lovers. To God be the glory, they got married and life was rosy until ......

The snag of this marriage was that unknown to Sheri, Bayo is a prolific cheat. Not less than 3 months after their marriage, sheri noticed that Bayo kept late nights in the name of one meeting at work or the other. He also gave excuses of church programs and choir practice. The irony of the story is that, after marriage, Bayo had stopped Sheri from being part of the choir.

The unfolding of the marriage, brought tears into Sheri's eyes, as in no time Bayo's numerous girlfriends started calling the house to report their pregnancies. On a fateful day, Sheri decided to confront Bayo, and to her surprise, he admitted to having 3 girlfriends, 2 of which are in the choir in church. He also admitted that he has a weakness for women, and he had been trying to find a solution.
He said he thought getting married would help him stop his womanising, but it hasnt.

He pleaded with Sheri, that he loves her, but she should please bear with him.

Sheri, totally heart-broken broke down in tears and cried. She said she was ready to do all in her power to help him break the addiction of  'womanising', and with prayers she was sure they would overcome it.

That was 3 years ago, as of present, Bayo has introduced not less than 5 women to Sheri as 'friends', and to make matters worse, even the pastor cannot do anything about it.
Sheri presently has 1 child for Bayo, but she is unhappy. What should she do?

I found this story very interesting, and it prompted me to ask questions. I asked a couple of friends who are married, both male and female. The responses i got were shocking:

A lot of married women said they knew their husbands cheat, and they have stopped bothering themselves.

The biggest shocker i got was when a guy i spoke to,said his wife cheats on him, but he doesnt know what to do about it. He said he has prayed and he has sought counselling from his pastor.

Upon hearing these stories, i thought it wise to discuss with you. What do you think about this?

Based on the Bible, Marriage is man + wife = 1. Not man + wife + girlfriends = 1.

Marriage should be built on trust, faithfulness and fidelity. Sheri needs the hand of God in her marriage. That marriage should be built on God. and as for Bayo, he needs to surrender to God. There's no addiction too big for God.




12 comments:

  1. A very interesting and familiar piece. Familiar because most men are guilty of two-timing, u hardly find a married man without a girlfriend these days -seems like a status thing especially if the guy is loaded.
    Having said this, i need to state here that bayo did not love sheri from the very first day! He was 'in lust ' with her and wanted to satisfy his crave as always but went a little further by marring her for reasons best known to him, one of which we know is just to cover his addiction of womanising. He does not have respect for sheri cos if he does, he will guard her feelings and practise his womanising acts very far away from home and her knowledge.
    Sheri needs to be very strong and pray, trusting in God absolutely, to help her through .She needs to show much love at this time, though quite difficult to do. God will see see her faith and honor her. BUT, if bayo gets abusive and irresponsible, i advise she picks her child and run for dear life!!!

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  2. I wish we can listen to Bayo and ask him what exactly is he looking for?Also,we need to ask Sheri if she never lack in any department(lol) because if Bayo had eaten enough with no more strength in him,he would be running from those ladies because he had nothing to offer.
    Also,I hope sheri step up her game in the bedroom and get him tired! I also hope she doesn't dress arcade and make herself beautiful and attractive every time.
    She need to ask him what is he looking for? what is it those woman has that she lacks? Is she over religious or quotes too much bible when they are in the bedroom.This can be more complicated than we know and there can be other side to the story.So much to say but less time.Have a great day everyone.

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  3. Wow..tee.this is one interesting piece. This issue of infedelity in marriage is too rampant. I agree with the first comment. Bayo didnt love Sheri, he just wanted to satisfy his lust, but unfortunately he got hooked. Hmmm...i feel for Sheri, but then, i feel for all the women who have accepted this as the norm. But the question like the second comment is..what is Sheri doing in the bedroom.(Thank God this is bedroom voice)so we can talk maturedly. She needs to give it to him to make him tired(that means she'll be tired too ooo)All sais, Sheri needs to hold on to God. There's nothing impossible for God to do.I pray for her. As for me, the day i catch my husband..hmmmm.. that day he will loose his manhood. Loollll

    KN

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  4. Most married men don't see anything wrong in cheating,they think it makes them savvy,but any God fearing man knows its wrong even if he doesn't admit it,for the sake of her health she should really consider if the man is worth it,and put him in prayers

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  5. It is really sad what the institute of marriage has turned into. Marriage is a gift from God to us, to guide it with our lifes, to love one another with His kind of love that is honest, true & ever constant.Our society encourages infedilty in marriage because when this men are cut in the act, your family & friends plead with you & tell you it's normal. This believe is from d pit of HELL. God never purpose it to be so. When you truely love somebody you won't want to hurt the person. Any man or woman who is unfaithful, does not know the meaning of love & definitely not in love. Lets continue praying for our men & women.With God there is no impossible situation, the heart of kings are in His hand. Sheri should continue praying for the salvation of Bayo. It is Christ in us that makes the difference.

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  6. There is nothing impossible with God.God can help him if he is detemined and becomes accountable.

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  7. Wow......i never expected to get such responses from you all. How diverse are the thoughts of men

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  8. With God all things are possible. Prayer and determination will solve this crises. I will also advice Sheri to make sure she sactify her husband physical needs. That maight be one of the problem. Am very much sure that if his physical need are met, he will not have time for other ladies out there. I really apprteciate every comments so far.

    Thanks Tope

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    1. Thanks for the wonderful support and comments elias...u encourage me.

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  9. @ tee!! This is a serious challenge a lot of marriages face today and since we have not heard bayo's side of the story I'll handle it differntly. My contribuition is on this wise,I don't think d problem is with sheri!! Bayo got into marriage with a partial wrong motive, thinking that wld solve his infidelity problems. He has now found out that marriage wasn't the solution.infidelity is a function of state of a human spirit. Its more like a force of irresponsibility. If he must stop,it has to be a conscious effort first from him and then d wife who I knw is more ready to get involved in d change. One cannot change until he/she is really angry and tired of a situation. Step 2. He needs the holy Spirit to work it out.He is a christian and that is a big advantage if he will allow the power of God help him through this. Even wen we pray there is a phase of working it out that demands Patience, longsuffering and a great understanding. They can have a glorious life if they will work it out together.

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  10. @sej....thanks for the advice..as i speak now, sheri and bayo are trying to make their marriage work. Bayo has started counselling with his pastor. Although he admits its been hard, but he is making progress.

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  11. I believe marriage = husband + wife + Christ.... Its sad coz we all hear stories about cheating spouses and all.
    A man or woman cannot completely love another if they done have Christ as their foundation for Love.

    If u cnt surrender completely to HIM, u can never surrender completely to ur spouse.

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