I married my friend, but she's not my lover

Bonjour a tous..as the french say it.

I realized recently that a lot of people follow my blog postings 'Nicodemusly'..they read but they don't comment.

 My prayer is that..'God will touch your fingers to type a comment from your keyboard'! Amen.

Some of my critics have told me this blog is feminist. They say i always write from a feminine perspective, well i can't help it. Can I? Its just natural for me to tilt towards the feminine angle when writing. However, this post is from a man's point of view.

I do have a couple of male friends, and recently while gisting, one of them complained to me about how his wife is his best friend but not his lover (My jaw dropped). Trust me i started poking him to give me more information, knowing fully well that i would write about it. So here's the full gist.


Read more..

(all names are fictitious)

Wole and Rike were friends in University.. they were part of a click of 6 comprising of 2 girls and 4 guys. Rike was the type we call 'tomboy'. She dressed like a guy and was not into the girlish things.

As years passed, the friendship between the 6 fostered. The guys in the group had their girlfriends, and the other girl had a boyfriend. Except Rike..who was everyone's friend. She was the go-to girl. The one who always gave advices and all. Although she was pretty in her own right, she never got the attention of guys.

Years passed, Rike went on to become a medical doctor and Wole, a Pharmacist. They fostered good friendship, and became very close. They could talk about anything and saw each other regularly.

Wole was a "womans-man". He had a lot of girlfriends. In fact you could call him a "lover-boy". However, along the line he got heartbroken and vowed never to fall in love again. 

To cut the story short, Wole decided to propose to Rike, since they had good friendship, and he had known her almost all his life. Unknown to Wole, Rike too was in love with him but she didn't know how to express her feelings.

So Yes.Rike was elated when Wole proposed.

Wole and Rike got married May 5th, 2011. It was a beautiful wedding. The couple looked divine and anticipated a blissful marriage. Honeymoon came and went...love was still shacking them. Real life set in afterwards..Wole realized that although he loves Rike, he did not enjoy making love to her. 

In fact in his words, he said  " I cant stand to see her naked. i just get repulsed". 
My jaws dropped when i heard that. So i asked him if she is ugly, unattractive, dirty, or fat...so many questions..all to which he said No.

I saw a picture of Rike, and she is very attractive, intelligent, successful doctor etc.. So the question is what is the problem?

Of course i asked him if he had prayed about his feelings, and he said Yes..but no change..

Its a dilemma isn't it? because Rike doesn't know about it...she knows her husband is strange to her especially in bed, but she has no clue whatsoever what going on. Wole can't talk to her about it. He's almost going crazy..but he insists he loves her.

I cant imagine being in such a situation. I cant even fathom it..Besides they are both Christians

Someone please help!!!!!!