Friday, June 7, 2013

I saw the Signs..YET i went ahead and married him..and YES i regret it.....

Happy New Month to you my lovely peoples. 

I ought to have sent in this post last Friday, but i had a crazy time at work. My project is at a crucial point,and needs all the attention. But here i am with yet another interesting piece.

I want to thank all my supporters and readers alike. Those people who give me positive and negative critic. I appreciate you. The idea for this story i am about to write was given to me by one of such supporters.

All names are fictitious. Any semblance to a real life scenario or situation is purely coincidental.

My name is Chinny, i am 27 years old. I was one of the lucky ones who got into the University immediately after Secondary School. I graduated from the University at the age of 22, as . I studied as an accountant and became chartered in 2010.

Whilst in the University, i was a fun lover. You can call me the 'life' of a party. Wherever i am, there's always fun. I loved to make everyone around me feel good and happy. No dull moment with me.

After my service year in Uyo, i got retained in an Oil Servicing Firm. Life was good. I was earning good money and enjoying my self..until i met Henry.


Henry was the perfect guy. You can call him ' a eye-candy' kind of man. Handsome, rich, polished, charming and generous.

Henry and I started our love affair.We dated for about 2 years, before he asked me to marry him. It was smooth initially, but after a while i began to see his true colors. Henry had a charming personality outside, however a closer look revealed the opposite.

First of all, i noticed that he got angry easily. Whenever he was angry, he would become physical and verbally abusive. 

Secondly, Henry did not like to be challenged in whatever way, especially by a woman. His idea was that, under no circumstance should a woman tell a man what to do, or how to do it. I noticed he had a bad relationship with his mother, and did not respect her, or value her opinion. At first, i felt it was because his mother was not a very educated woman.

Thirdly, Henry always said he didnt want his wife to work, because he didnt want his wife being stressed by work activities. He was had a thriving business and could provide adequately for his family.

Dear readers, irrespective of all these things...i was madly in love with Henry. Infact i was so blinded that these signs seemed manageable to me at that time. 

I remember vividly that one of the days we went to visit his parents, His mum called me aside and asked me if i knew Henry well enough. I replied Yes. She asked again if i was sure of him, to which i replied Yes.

That was 2 years ago. I am presently married to Henry, but my life is miserable.  Whenever he is angry he beats me black and blue. Even lovemaking is an ordeal for me, as he is always very rough. He doesn't care about the pains i go through.

To make matters worse, Henry stopped me from working. I have to rely on him for every basic need. As if that is not enough, he has alienated me from my family and friends. I am a lone ranger in a strange land. My life is miserable.

I am a shadow of myself. No longer am i the happy, joyful young lady i used to be.

I don't know what to do. I am thinking of running away with my 18 month old son.
Love is blind they say..I would say Love made me stupid...and am paying for it.


  1. Its pathetic that you are in this situation, because the signs were glaring for you to see. Yet you allowed yourself to be fooled.. I only pray God helps you out of this situation.


  2. Very true that God can and will help if you ask him out of what you got yourself into. My advice is be attentive to what God is saying about your marriage.
    Secondly, there must be something that your husband is insecure about, find this out and begin to speak his language to invite peace. It is quite obvious that you both are not on the same page hence the fighting. After 2years....there must be something that you must be conscious of.
    Finally, if you want the marriage stop challenging him, find out his weak point and use it as an asernal. But if you don't want to, take a holiday with your child then spell the odds to him and keep stepping. Tell him to go to hell and burn

    Wish you the best there.

  3. This might sound crazy, but if you were my sister, I would give the same advice:

    1. Divorce him; and
    2. Take Custody of your son;

    If he won't let you, leave the son with him. I bet you, it will only be foor a while before you win him (your son) back fully.

    Now that you breathe, save your own life. However, silly my advice is about leaving your son (temporarily), think about who gets custody of him after you are dead.

    A word is good enough for the wise. At 27, and a son, many men would marry you and treat you right. That is the truth!

  4. Its so unfortunate that so many ladies find themselves in this situation not by anyone else's fault but their's. How can you see all the signs and still go ahead? do you think you can force changes in a man...hell no! I pray the Lord intervenes and touch the heart of your hubby. You need a lot of patience to stay married to him,now that you know him and what upsets him, desist from doing those things, play the fool and show much love. The Lord will perfect that which concerns you.


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