Friday, May 11, 2012

Can you talk to him?


Hello People....


Its been a while i wrote anything on this interesting blog. I used the word "Interesting", because it promises to be interesting and exciting.

During the last week i overhead some high school students within the ages of 14-16 talking about the Sex Education classes in their school. I was excited as i thought to myself that it is a good development. A whole lot of us never had such discussions whether at school or at home.

 Sex talk was a big taboo. This mentality of Sex being a sacred topic, made us, even as grown women reluctant to talk about it, especially with the people that matter most.

I realized that issues about sexuality and relationships are very interesting. Especially for the women folk, who hold back discussing such issues.


I was prompted to have a chit-a-chat with some girlfriends and we got talking about relationships. Of course, its a topic we talk about 70% of our time together, but the twist to the gist was when we started talking about sex in a relationship.


In the course of the conversation, i found out that women enjoy discussing sex with their girlfriends, but not with him. Him, is that special man in their lives. By special i mean husbands, fiance or boyfriends. A lot of women have difficulties expressing their sexual preferences to the men in their lives.


Call me old-fashioned or traditional, i am of the opinion that sexual relationships should be kept for the Marriage bed. Hence, it is of my opinion that wives should be able to express their sexual feelings to their husbands.


Talk to him about what you want, how you feel and your present mood. Remember, sex is ordained by God. It is a beautiful act  that brings intimacy in a marriage.


Learn to talk to and with him.

Do you have practical experiences of your sexual intimacy with your spouse. Please feel free to drop a comment. Lets talk

14 comments:

  1. This is so very true. I have been married for close to 5 years, and its been difficult expressing myself to my husband. Sometimes i try to open up, but his reaction makes me return to my shell. What do i do?

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  2. I am not yet married, but i do have a boyfriend i love dearly and we're planning to get married. For us, communication has always been a major factor. We put in extra effort to communicate, and these includes discussing about sex. I dont have any challenges about that, but my heart goes out to women who cant talk to their men about sex.

    Regards Anita

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  3. Am still single and intend getting married someday soon. Communicating my feelings, sex inclusive, has always been something I don't shy away from. I talk about it as often as I could in my relationship,cos have realized its one of the things that keep a marriage *wink**
    So I don't think I have any challenges concerning that aspect of my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How lucky you are lara, to be able to talk about your feelings. Like you said, it does go a very long way in keeping a marriage *wink**. But sincerely, its not that easy in a marriage. Before i got married to my husband, talking about sex was the easiest thing, but after marriage and a child, it has become an herculean task.

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  4. Its not as easy as it sounds. Trust me.

    T.K

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  5. i have a friend who is so wary of having sex with her husband. She works hard and most times, gets home really tired. The last thing on her mind is sex, and then Mr husband comes and wants some action, as she said she just surrenders herself to him, with little or no input. I gave this story to say that, in such a busy world we live in right now, how can she talk to her husband about her sexual preferences?

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    Replies
    1. All d husband needs is to nurture his wife.How do u nurture your wife?listen 2 her and dont cut her as she talks 2u about her day and neva discard her feelings.always validate her feeling.

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    2. I totally agree to talking as a major form of communication. But the problem in this case is that, the husband doesnt even know how she feels. He hasnt observed her body language. His just so concerned about his own needs.

      Mariam

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  6. Yeah,communication!women's got alot to do there.Men find it difficult to pick feelings.We are very poor at that.Men appreciate when women demonstrate confidence, communicating their needs with them.i challenge married women to tell their husband how they want it(sex),when they want it (sex)etc and see the difference it makes.ANY LOVING HUSBAND WANTs TO SATISFY HIS WIFE AND MAKE HER HAPPY.Great great work,arin

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    Replies
    1. you are 100% right man.

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  7. Helpppppppp..I have been married for 5 years.I married my husband as a virgin at the age of 22.Before marriage, i was looking forward to a fulfilling sexual experience. At first, the sex was interesting, my husband was very willing to teach me alot of things, but after my first baby, things took a turn for bad.My husband seems to have lost interest in me. He says am slack and not tight.I really want to enjoy sex with my husband, i have tried everything i can, to no avail. We went for couple counselling together, and the lady told us we needed to communcate our sexual needs. I quite agree with her, but my husband is unwillingly to talk to me. What do i do? i am just 27 years now, and am sexually frustrated.

    Lady D

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    Replies
    1. Hello Lady D, your story is most emotional, i felt total pity for you especially at such a young age when the hormones are raging wild, seeking for a means of release. However, i think its a good news that your husband disclosed what the problem is. Now you can attack the problem and find a solution. I did a little reserach and found out that there are exercises called Kegel which can be used to tighten the walls of the virgina. Also, there are creams and drugs that can help tighten the virgina. Cheer up dear, there is hope.
      I hope i have been of help to you.

      One Love

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  8. Helloo..This is a great piece you have here..i find it amazing the way i talk to my husband.We have such amn awesome rapport. We talk about everything, from sex to positions to so many things. Yes i can talk to my husband and i love it

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    ReplyDelete

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